Reverend Marco Ste-Marie

I am still struggling to process much of what has happened. I did not come to the decision to leave this pastoral charge lightly. There has been grief in it, because I genuinely hoped that my ministry here would unfold differently.

Throughout my relatively short tenure, I received many complaints. Some were worth hearing and reflecting upon, but others were expressed in ways that felt more accusatory than constructive. Even yesterday, someone listed the things they believed I should have done and concluded that because I had not done them, I had somehow failed to integrate into the congregation. Moments like that have been difficult.

Along the way, I raised concerns with church leadership about patterns I believed were unhealthy. Unfortunately, I often felt those concerns went largely unaddressed. Sometimes in church life there can be a strong desire to avoid conflict—to calm the person creating difficulty rather than address the behaviour itself. In those situations, the person who raises the concern can eventually become seen as the problem simply because they disturbed the “peace”.

There were many times when I felt I was expected to be the “adult in the room,” absorbing criticism, keeping the peace, and carrying responsibility for relationships that required effort from more than one person. I did not experience the support I needed, although I recognize that members of the leadership may sincerely believe they were supportive. Both realities can exist at the same time.

Ministry itself has changed enormously. I remember saying nearly seventeen years ago that the church was entering a time of profound change and that, unless we were willing to face that honestly, some of the changes ahead would be painful. Too often, our churches embrace renewal enthusiastically in theory, while in practice the familiar ways of doing things remain remarkably powerful.

I experienced some of that in this charge. I advocated repeatedly for renewal, for healthier ways of relating, and for looking honestly at the future. There was often agreement with those ideas, but translating them into actual change proved much more difficult.

And this struggle is certainly larger than one congregation. Many colleagues I know have experienced burnout, depression, exhaustion, or have left ministry altogether. I increasingly believe we need to acknowledge that some of the challenges facing ministry are not simply “out there” in a changing society. Some are embedded within our church structures and cultures themselves.

When harmful behaviour is tolerated in the name of keeping the peace, while those who name the behaviour are characterized as difficult or divisive, something is deeply wrong. The Christian community should be one of the places where truth can be spoken with love, accountability can coexist with grace, and disagreement does not require someone to become a scapegoat.

That realization saddens me deeply because I continue to love the church and believe in what it can become.

I leave carrying both gratitude and wounds. There have been wonderful people here, meaningful relationships, and moments of ministry I will always treasure. At the same time, I know that leaving is the healthiest decision for me, personally and professionally.

I hope the next chapter will offer opportunities to minister in a community where collaboration, trust, honesty, and mutual support can grow. Ministry will never be easy, nor should it be. But I do believe it can be life-giving rather than continually depleting.